An Update Is In Need

I had great intentions for this little blog. LOL. We are going to give this another try. After only one post I got so wrapped up in everything else going on in life I have been completely neglectful. How to catch up 3 years in one post. Well...here goes!

Since my last post a lot has changed for this little family. Ben's grandmother Mary passed in 2010 and has been greatly missed. When you are allowed to spend someones last years with them you learn a lot about yourself and the person you are living with. Mary and I definitely had our challenges but she was a good person and she had more passion for life than anyone I have ever met in my life. Ben and I have been blessed to continue living in Mary's home since she passed and plan to purchase the home in the near future.

We have also added a new member to our family. His name is Diesel, he is our now 3 year old Rottweiler/Border Collie/Shepherd...etc. Diesel came to us in November of 2010 at 8 weeks old weighing in at 12 pounds from Second Chance for Homeless Pets. He was the sweetest little baby you have ever seen. Diesel has added a new element to this little family and has been a great addition. He is the sweetest, most cuddly, 98 pound clown you have ever met.

Since completing his MBA Ben has also completed an MA in Education and started his first year as a 6th grade teacher this year in August. We couldn't be happier that he is finally working in his dream job. He comes home happy everyday and is so proud of the work he is doing with his students. He is an amazing teacher and I am so proud of him. Ben is also working on his English as a Second Language (ESL) endorsement while he teaches. I think he is crazy for taking on so much but he impresses me every day with his drive and determination.

With the beginning of Ben's new job came another big decision in our lives. The decision to start trying to have a baby. We met with my fertility doctor and have started clomid treatments. We are hopeful and positive that things will work out the way they are supposed to. The decision to start a family has been one of the most exciting choices we have made in our 6 year marriage. Although I could not contain my excitement at the possibility that we could have a baby I also had a lot of unrest about what we would do if we were successful. Will I work? Where will the baby be if I do work? It's a stressful thing that has caused me a lot of worry and even guilt at what my decision would have to be. Unfortunately in this day and age it is just not realistic to live on a single income.

So the decision of whether or not I have to work is not really a decision. I have to work so that we can survive, so that our family is secure and I am willing to make that sacrifice. But the guilt is very real. Funny that before we are even pregnant I am sad thinking about leaving a child to go to work all day. All the things I will miss and time I will not be able to spend learning about this little person and growing with them.

While dealing with this internal battle I had a visit from a very good friend who is also a teacher. She was off school for the summer and told me about all the wonderful things she and her boys had done. They had an activity every day, things that her boys will remember when they are all grown up. I know she didn't realize when we were talking what an impact our conversation had on me. I had such a sense of peace come over me. I knew what I needed to do to be able to satisfy both the need to help provide for my family, and that need I already had as a someday mom to be there for my children.

With that decision comes this new stage of my life. I start classes tomorrow at University of Phoenix to receive a Bachelors in Elementary Education. What a perfect career for a mom. I am so excited for this new challenge and cannot wait to begin this new journey. I know it won't be easy. And I know I will face many challenges along the way but it will all be worth it in the end. The opportunity help my family by contributing financially and to be able to have dedicated time for my children in the summers is more than I had hoped for.

Life is not without it's challenges but that is what makes it great! Still riding the rollercoaster and enjoying every minute. Look forward to my next post about some more exciting news about our little family.


Bye for now,

~The Bear